Dear Ms. Boesky of the BOESKY GALLERY and Good morning,

Our two favorite Josephs, Mr. Kosuth and Mr. Beuys once said: "Pretty girls make bad art".* When we were young art students, we believed every word those two father figures said (and we still do sometimes). Being the ladies' men and all that we are, we thought most girls were pretty (at least in our school) and therefore, made bad art. Now when we look back on it, we realize that maybe it wasn't this simple. As we get older and fatter, we see that looks aren't important, it's what's within that counts.

At first we were a little skeptical about your gallery, being a womyn's gallery and all (the two Josephs still had great influences on us), but we kept seeing your great shows. We said, "Fuck the Josephs, we want the Marys (Mary Miss and Mary Kelly). They might be pretty, they might be ugly, but either way, they make damn good art. Besides, we are both engaged to pretty women and might one day be successful enough to make any bitch jealous. So no, looks don't matter, except maybe as a marketing tool, and art isn't about that, except if you're trying to sell it.

To get to the point, if you are really going to sell it (the art), then your gallery is going to need to look as good as us. Included is a logo we've designed for you to give you a little head start. Just $500.00 gets you print-ready film and the rights to use it.

Thank you for just being you, a womyn of the 21st century!

A.K.U.S.A.

*taken from the book, 101 Artists' Quotes by, A.K.U.S.A.