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Kalli pabbi - his blood sings in mine - my genetic father

Kalli pabbi suffered from mental disorder most of his life, he was a creative spirit, saw into the worlds beyond. He didn't want to see me since around my 16th birthday. I found out a year ago late 2002 that he had passed away, he had already been burned and in the spirit of Kalli pabbi there is confusion with what to do with his ashes. He wanted it sent in an envelope to the Pentagon. He had passed away before 911 so he didn't know about the anthrax scare. He believed he was both a CIA and KGB agent. His world was both very scary and at times facinating. He certanly was a special character. I didn't really know how deeply I loved him until I realized there wouldn't be more chances in this lifetime to meet. I don't think he would be able to get beyond his mental barrier to meet me and my other syblings. In all the confusion to learn of his death a year and half after it occurred I was granted a great gift. I found out that I have a sister. To discover her and her world was been a wonderful journey.